


My Idiots

by TheReviewess



Series: Heroics Run In The Family [10]
Category: Dragon Age - All Media Types
Genre: F/F, Family, Family Bonding, Inquisitor Backstory, POV Leliana, Parenthood, Teenagers, The Maker is Testing Leliana
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-28
Updated: 2018-10-28
Packaged: 2019-08-09 01:06:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,202
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16440191
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheReviewess/pseuds/TheReviewess
Summary: Leliana and Aerinwyn Mahariel like to think they have the perfect child. But even the perfect kid has her own flaws.Or, The Warden and the soon to be Inquisitor are a little bit extra.





	My Idiots

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! please enjoy a small silly story about Faenra and Mahariel being a little bit extra and Leliana having to deal with her idiots.

When it came to their child, Aerin and Leliana would have to say that they had the perfect child. Sure that's what most parents would say, but Aerin and Leliana believed it. While other kids snuck out at night to meet their boyfriends or girlfriends, Faenra Mahariel preferred to curl up with a book on magic in her room. She didn't make any terrible life choices, partially due to a particular Grey Warden breathing down her neck, and she was as sweet as could be!

But, and there was always a but, Leliana was worried about Faenra becoming a bit of a shut in. Or worse, a little too much like Mahariel herself. Of course, Aerin would argue that her child got out enough, after all, Mahariel would take the girl on all sorts of adventures. While that wasn't the smartest of ideas (after all, the two of them together often came up with the worst of ideas), and Leliana knew it, she remembered the last time she tried to interrupt their Mother-Daughter bonding trips. One constantly brooding elf is hard enough to deal with, but two was a little bit ridiculous and truly tested her sanity.

Leliana sat in a cafe in Val Royeaux not too far from the Grand Cathedral, just watching the world go by, or so it seemed. Oddly enough, cafe's were where she was able to gather quite a bit of information. Usually the people dining here were the types that spoke with the Divine enough that Leliana needed to keep an eye on them, personally. Cassandra always found it strange, but never kept Leliana from it. So, everyday in the late morning, like a clockwork, Leliana would walk into the cafe for a midday meal. Because it was part of her schedule, no one thought she was actually working. Little did they know, she was always working.

At least she was until so rudely bombarded by two ragamuffins that she called her lover and adoptive child.

“Hi Shema! Did you miss us?” Faenra asked, excited and smelling like something awful. There were no words that could describe the stench radiating off those two. Leliana was lucky they were seated outside or else the smell would have been amplified.

“I think I missed my sense of smell and my appetite more,” Leliana replied, pushing away her food. She noticed that she didn't seem to be the only one to do that. “What stench did you two roll in, because that does not smell like Darkspawn!” The smell of Darkspawn, even after all these years, was hard to get out of one's nose. She's tried.

“Well you see,” Aerinwyn started off, trying to placate her.

“We cut open a broodmother! Like with one of those big swords and vwoom! Right across the stomach! It was awesome!” Faenra replied excitedly and giving a dramatic reenactment, “also gross. Are you going to eat that?” Truly her mother's daughter...

“All yours,” Leliana said quickly, trying not to breathe. She quickly pulled her cowl over her nose and mouth to try and find relief. Her attempts were futile. The stench permeated everything. “Have you two even bathed?”

“I think we've bathed more times in our journey home than I ever have in my entire life,” Aerinwyn groaned, now realizing that they were being stared at by literally all the patrons of the cafe. “But the threat up in the Free Marches has been dealt with for now. I’ve got a small detachment up there working on recruiting. We need to bolster our numbers up there.” She also needed a bath, but Leliana wasn't going to harp on that too much. At least someone knew how badly she smelled.

“How did you get the idea to cut it open?” Leliana asked, even though she really didn't want to know. Actually she wanted this conversation to be over so she could force those two in a bathtub until they were all pruney.

“Me,” Fae said casually while she finished off the last of the food. She practically inhaled it, though Leliana was not surprised. She had her mother's stomach. “It's not like we can reach the head to cut it off, so I settled for the next best thing to make sure it died.”

“Cutting it open?” Leliana asked. She honestly didn't know what she expected. This sounded exactly like some kind of idea that the two of them would come up with.

“Well the idea was to cut it in half horizontally, but _someone_ didn't cut hard enough.”

“That sword was the size of me! I was lucky I could lift it! Either way it is very dead now and I'm glad we didn't destroy it more than we had or we would have smelled even worse.” Aerin said quickly, trying to make herself smaller and more inconspicuous. Unfortunately the Armor of the Commander of the Grey was hard not to notice.

"We also burned it, just in case." Ah, yes, Leliana thought she smelled burning flesh among the plethora of other horrible stenches.

While Leliana might not have to deal with the typical teenage issues. Instead she had to deal with a teenager with a flair for dramatics and a hero complex as large as her mother's. Honestly, she was a perfect child at home, but the second she went out with Aerin, they do something absolutely absurd and Leliana is forced to listen as they recount the tale, knowing that she would hate hearing about how they almost got killed, again. Some days she swore that the two just bounced bad ideas off of each other for fun and had a competition to see who could come up with the most ridiculous idea that would get the best reaction out of her.

“It's still not as bad as that time in Amaranthine,” Fae pointed out, hoping to make Leliana less mad.

“Oh, you mean the time you followed your mother when you were supposed to stay put? That time?” Leliana fired back. She was still pissed at that. Nothing could top that level of stupid and Leliana's level of anger. Probably.

“Uh… maybe? But are we sure I was supposed to stay back? She didn't say don't follow me. I was just told to be safe, and nowhere is safer than with Ma.”

Leliana just looked at the Warden. This was the shit that she had to put up with. Faenra's innate ability to find a loophole in everything. She got that from her father, or so Aerin said, but Leliana knew better. The Hero herself had a silver tongue and used it whenever she needed to talk her way out of something. And she used it more often than not. It made her a very capable player in The Great Game, but it also made Leliana want to throttle her lover at times.

“Well she's not wrong…”

Alright, so her child wasn't perfect, but in her defender, she was always a perfect darling whenever they were home. So she'll take that. At least there wouldn't be any teenage pregnancies with this one. She was still going to throw these two in a bath and forget about them until dinner time. 


End file.
